If I'd known it was a choice, I'd have chosen this one!

Heck, you may have heard me crow this when I thought you weren’t listening. But they (and I) were wrong.

Being actually gay is a lifestyle choice. The question is: are you pro-”choice”?

Lifestyle

In brief defense of this strange non-lifestyle-choice claim, we note that Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous has everything to do with which cars, square footage, and designers these people can afford and nothing to do with actual love.

When you gasp, “honey, that’s way beyond our lifestyle” it doesn’t usually refer to a poolboy with a breathtaking wax job.

Hey, get back to work! And no wine! (sixpack ok)

But let’s put this aside, as well as your doctor’s plea that to reduce your cardiac risk, you need to change your lifestyle (s/he is asking you to carry your own golf clubs, but not as a way to distract yourself  from keeping a homosexual spouse/partner/caddy). [update 5 July 2010: and yes, now you also need to lift your own luggage].

What is this whole “Lifestyle a Choice” thingy?

What Roy Ashburn, Bob Allen, Maggie Gallagher, Glenn Murphy Jr., Exodus International, are talking about when they call being gay a lifestyle choice is the choice they, themselves, have made to take on the lifestyle trappings of heterosexuality – namely the well-worn expectation that you should marry, and bear children (as the outcome of passion or as scripture-sponsored task; doesn’t matter), and then receive support from your families and from the government in the way of money (in each paycheck and then social security) as well as passing in and out of your country’s borders; in the hospital; when renting cars, etc., you get the picture).

They call it a lifestyle choice, because these homosexual folks have spent many years selecting “straight” as their lifestyle of choice. It is hard if you’re actually a homosexual, but you can do it. It doesn’t mean you’re heterosexual; you just live like one: “straight”. Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

And they deserve a lot of appreciation from you, if that’s what you’re into. They “just say no” to every promising opportunity to pursue healthy, honest, passion or love. The contortions they put their souls through to keep them heaven-ready demand LOTS of concentration.

(You can't see his wide stance in this picture.)

And somehow refusing to follow love and lust when they’re sad and sober makes it okay to do so when they’re gay and drunk (or changing planes at certain airports).

Choice

Heterosexuality is a state of being, the one where you do find deep, meaningful satisfaction with romancing someone who is of an “opposite sex”.

Being “straight” is a lifestyle choice, one that you’d be best to choose if you’re heterosexual. And you’d better choose if you’re in the (US) military. Personally, I’m comfortable with your being  free to choose to live as a straight person to continue in your culture’s tradition of arranged marriage instead of a marriage of romantic origin, even if your heart and loins long for the gay option. It’s a choice, like being celibate is a choice.

Likewise, homosexuality is a state of being. You don’t get to choose being a homosexual; the choice is made for you. But you can choose a gay lifestyle if it will help you to feel good about your life. This “feeling good about your life as a gay person” won’t last all that long if you are not homosexual, but for some it’s worth a try. And ask any gay person who’s gone through the harrowing adventure of living honestly and pursuing love as springs from their hearts.

Really you should be free to choose a heterosexual lifestyle if you’re a homosexual: American, Republican, politician or televangelist. I give the mightily mixed up Ted Haggard some strong kudos for stating openly that Christians shouldn’t stand in the way of equal health care for gays (or healthcare for anyone), while (still!) choosing to present as straight. But you and he and everyone should also be able to choose to live your internally realized truth, instead of an externally pressured one, and be a healthy, happy, gay-lifestyled homosexual.

Maybe homosexual, but does that photo say "gay"?

My problem with Ashburn is not that he’s a lying, hypocritical, coward – it’s that he’s been using his political power to deny me the choice to not be one. I don’t respect how he gained children, societal approval, and political success, but it doesn’t hurt me. It doesn’t hurt my children or my husband.

What does hurt us all is Roy Ashburn’s spittle-hurling excitement in public, exhorting his constituents to deny rights to gay citizens.

And regardless of the imminent divine forgiveness he’s about to begin bragging about, in this erstwhile heaven on earth we call California, he’s a lying jerk.

Yes, being gay may be a lifestyle choice. And this is America, where you and I are supposed to be free –  to live out our own choices.

And there are those who stand and lead courageously in a battle for morality, tradition, and honor in matrimony. As our nation’s righteous beat back an aggressive onslaught against traditional marriage, let us honor the bravest and truest protectors of marriage, and draw inspiration from the Best of the Best.

Behold, the Best of the Best.
You may ask, “What source of greatness do these men have in common?”
Is it that they bared their souls before their maker as they were Born Again? Is it a humble appreciation for the women who have given so much to support their success?

Please take a moment to honor these men and to examine their work and their lives.

	Marriage Protector	Major Successes	Other Accomplishments
	Did more to protect marriage than you (or Fox News) would generally think.	Legislative Protections: Defense of Marriage Act - Just because radical Iowa okays sinful marriage doesn’t mean that decent Californians need to honor it! Don’t Ask Don’t Tell – doesn’t specifically protect marriage, but does make sure that our soldiers don’t “flaunt it” : - no “spousal” benefits - no disgusting “welcome home” displays of affection.	51-plus years of committed relationships: - 39 year marriage with Hillary Clinton - 12 year relationship with Gennifer Flowers.
	Mark Sanford - our next president?	Achieved American Conservative Union lifetime score of 95! Demanded Clinton’s impeachment following the president’s sexual scandal, labeling this “reprehensible”.	Well-rounded: Likes hiking and international travel. Not a clod, he truly appreciates a woman, not merely for being a good wife and mother, but also for being his soulmate, and is not ashamed to admit it. As handsome as Sarah Palin is pretty, he has an air of being loved by God. Restraint in several other extramarital dalliances: “never crossed the ultimate line“.
	John Ensign: Straight-shooter, honest, role model.	Morals and Ethics: Publicly called for Larry Craig’s resignation, after Craig’s homosexual airport arrest scandal. Stood strong against gay marriage. With his wife, were active Promise Keepers, members of a Christian evangelical ministry for strong families, strong marriages, and sexual purity.	An inspiration to others who must come clean and repent.
	Larry Craig of Idaho, an unfortunate mistunderstanding.	Publicly chastised Bill Clinton, on behalf of his constiutents, calling Clinton a “bad, naughty boy”. Rated 100% by the Christian Coalition: a pro-family voting record. Voted: - YES on a US Constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. - YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage - to allow job and housing discrimination on the basis sexual orientation.	Brave denials: - 1982: strongly asserted that he did not give cocaine to minors or solicit sexual activity with minor pages. -
	David Vitter, means what he says, says what he means.	Heart and values in the right place: David Vitter video	Brave denials: -David vitter video.

Pictured: Actual Gay Wedding Cake

Bill’s words are followed by my response, in which I call out lies for what they are.
I strongly believe that truth is multi-faceted and difficult to pin down. And so I don’t take lightly the accusation that someone is lying. But there are deeply mendacious lies that >50% of my nieghbors have used as reason for committing the un-American act of persecuting this minority.

Bill, your turn: (Top)

Hi <Name Omitted>

I suppose I should fill you in on the Proposition 8 situation in California, seeing as how your brother and I are the people on the list most directly affected by the topic.  Also, I gather from the ridiculous suggestion that this had anything to do with temple marriages suggests that you can’t count on your church to give you accurate information.  And I know your attention span is short, but I feel like I’ve been punched in the face 5,000,000 times by a gang of thugs who have been bankrolled by your church.

So here is the background: the State Supreme Court ruled earlier this year that the California State Constitution prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation (as it does for many other protected categories, including religious affiliation), and that therefore lesbians and gay men should have the same rights and responsibilities as heterosexuals, including the right to marriage.  The LDS church, along with some Catholic and Evangelical groups, paid lots of money put a proposition on the ballot that would eliminate the right to marriage by same-sex couples.  The LDS church, along with many church members encouraged by their leaders, funded a disproportionately (compared to the population percentage) large fraction of the “Yes on 8″ campaign.  Whether you like gay marriage or not, those are the facts.

So when you say it is retarded that people are protesting the church, I am not sure what is retarded about it.  If a church gets directly involved in big social issues and works directly to make the lives of thousands of Californians miserable, then I think legally protesting those churches is 100% appropriate.  If I had the time I’d be out there blocking access to LDS, Catholic, and Evangelical churches that make my life more difficult.  The LDS church made a deliberate effort to get involved in MY LIFE, and there will be a backlash.  I believe strongly in freedom of religion, but that also means freedom from religion.

Along with marriage come many financial benefits, such as the option to file your income taxes jointly.  As and example, for Steve and I, we will pay a Fag Tax of approximately $5000 this year because we cannot file jointly, despite being legally married.  The fag tax doesn’t hit all homosexuals, but we will be hit especially hard.  There are a long list of other benefits that heterosexual couples take for granted, but I am a second class citizen because I can’t access them.  Some of our best friends, Karl and David, have 2 children, and they will be hit especially hard by this situation. Please take a look at some of the families that your church has taken this opportunity to smack in the face (and, BTW, that is make-up):
http://strikefour.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/slapped-5-million-times/
Top

Never in history has a persecuted minority been granted equal status without a long and typically bloody fight.  If the courts to don’t invalidate Prop 8 quickly, this will get nastier.  Remember the ’50s, and Separate but Equal?  How do we think back on that hypocrisy now?   I hope we are not early in this fight now, but the LDS church has clearly taken the side of discrimination, and the next generation of LDS children will see this for what it is, and will have the shame for the church that many now have about the old LDS teachings regarding black people.

There has to be a happy middle ground, and I think a protest movement is really brewing. Americans get worked up about injustice.  Why not reserve marriage to be a strictly religious institution, and offer civil unions to all married couples?  That takes the religions out of the business of taxation.  Only those with civil unions can get the financial benefits (including taxation, social security, joint property, et cetera).  Religious groups of all types can keep the franchise of marriage, but de-couple marriage from law.  Let it be a 100% religious zone.  Temple marriages can remain exactly as they have always been, and if those couples also want to get social security benefits & tax benefits, they can request a civil union on the side at their county clerk’s office drive-through window.

I’m sorry my message seems so angry, but I am angry, and that is what happens when you make someone angry.  And as a side-note, I have never been made to feel unwelcome by any part of Steve’s family, and I appreciate that the family treats us well, with love and generous respect.  So I send this to you in a spirit of dialogue, in case you want to open that up, because I imagine in Texas and Idaho and Utah you don’t get many opportunities to meet lots of honestly openly gay people.
Top
A DREAM DEFERRED
By Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore– And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over– like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

<SNIP> From <Name Omitted>’s message yesterday:
>PS we have been hearing a lot about this proposition in California- what exactly was it ? it sounds retarded that so many people are protesting the church. It not like they are going to change their views on same sex marriage. As I understand it there was a clause in the proposition that would limit anyone who would not perform all marriages and therefore hinder temple marriages or make them impossible. I don’t know ? I would be interested in hearing more about it. But not everything about it. I only have so much time to read. Love you all.

And my response: (Top)
BTW, those who said that
“..there was a clause in the proposition that would limit anyone who would not perform all marriages and therefore hinder temple marriages or make them impossible…” were telling a complete and utter lie, and doing so knowingly.
 
Clergy of churches, temples, synagogues and mosques have NEVER been compelled to peform marriages that contradict their beliefs. No rabbi has ever been punished by the state for refusing to marry a Jew to a gentile.

 

He can marry you... but he doesn't HAVE to if he doesn't WANT to

No priest has been compelled by the state to marry a Catholic with a Protestant or Muslim or Jew or Atheist, nor Mormon with gentile.

• to confuse Black people about what day Election day is
• to make poor people fear that they will be nailed for parking tickets if they show up at the polls,
• to make religious folks fear they’ll be persecuted if they stop persecuting others
• to convince poor people that cutting taxes on the wealthy, and paring down social services, will help them out.

I frankly think it is because they are evil.
 
As to why so many self-labeled Conservatives are so willing to believe?
 
I think it is because their ethical and moral conviction takes second place to their fear.
Not admirable, for sure, to allow your fear to cloud your vision and rob you of your humankindness. 

And the results are bizarrely perfect, in the sense of perfect evil. To view these results, poor people voting to make themselves poorer; those who most need a voice cowering from the polls; persecuted becoming persecutor; to the extent that it is reasonable to consider the concept of evil, you’d be reasonable to consider that lying Christians and lying Conservatives are, very effectively, carrying out the work of the Devil.

What I don’t understand is why the rest of us are so passive in the face of this evil and moral weakness.

• Why do we let them get away with it?
• Why did Kerry, who enlisted and served, merely endure the
  Swiftboater lies that served Bush, an avoider-gone-AWOL?
• Why is Ann Coulter considered to have an opinion?
• How does FOX News even make payroll?

I want your insight.
I ask for your wisdom and guidance.
And all need each other stand up a lot stronger, with the voice that truth deserves, against those goddamn lies.

Nice shiner? Thanks, neighbor!

Too dramatic?

• that the stream of heterosexual parents and foster parents who maltreated my children, to the point of losing them, are more deserving of the basics of citizenship than are the adoptive parents who are helping these children heal?
• that should I die first, my husband does not deserve my social security check, but the money I paid in, all these years, should go to subsidize the golden years of people who neither know him, support him, nor love him?
• that I deserve to have paid the extra $20,000 in federal and state taxes since being hired by my current employer, compared to a straight co-worker sitting next to me, because I could have kept it if only I’d pretended to love some woman and tricked her into marrying me nonetheless?
• that in this case and in this country, someone else’s religion should dictate laws limiting my wealth and well-being?
• that all men are created equal except for homosexuals?

Too dramatic?
The awkward self-indulgence of painting my face (or yours) is minor, I assure you, compared to the grievances above. There’s something deeply wrong in being slammed and showing no sign – or being allowed the luxury of going to church on Sunday, feeling that you’ve hurt no-one last Tuesday. I just don’t know how I can walk out there showing no wound when I and my family have been so deeply hurt.

-To those of you who spoke up for me, even once, I thank you deeply.
(Kristen, you even registered just to vote for my equality.)
-To those of you who think that Barack Obama believes that I deserve equal rights despite his stating that I don’t, to keep from killing his chances at victory, you owe me thanks big-time. The victors in this election, myself included, sold me out. My family’s well-being was the price for your victory.
-To those Californians who did nothing to help me, you can go to hell for a while.
-To those Californians who mistakenly voted yes for want of having paid attention, you can go to hell and stay there.
-To those non-Californians who sent their money and lies to my state to inspire fear and hatred instead of strength and goodness, you are my hell.
]]> http://strikefour.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/slapped-5-million-times/feed/ 13 posnie shiner_02 http://strikefour.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/two-men-with-tans/ http://strikefour.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/two-men-with-tans/#comments Sat, 08 Nov 2008 03:30:12 +0000 posnie http://strikefour.wordpress.com/?p=338 ]]>

Rahm and Barack: seem comfortable together

Hey: Obama chose Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff.
 
Rahm Israel Emanuel is part of the Jewish Intelligentsia.
Could it be that Barack Hussein  Obama is not, after all, a radical Islamist terrorist? (I mean, it made so much sense!)
 
Or more likely that he, Barack (which we all know is the Hebrew word for lightning) is still a Muslim terrorist — but in being so shrewd as to take on a Jewish chief, is showing his true colors also as part of the Zionist plan to control the world? (He said he’d shake hands across the aisle, and that’s some aisle!)
 
Rahm is also a bit of a hottie, startlingly like Obama in elegance and sense-of-style.
Two fit, well-dressed, handsome, men with tans?
Traveling on business together…
It’s indication, I think, of something more than the usual friendship among men.
(Poor Michelle – it’s Eddie Murphy all over again!)
 
So:
 A.  Islamic terrorist?
 B.   Zionist power elite?
 C.  Homosexual agenda promoter?
 D.  All of the above?
 
Logically it’s D; no proof, it’s that feeling… 

Whichever it is, I’m just not too sure about America’s future.

Fox News, are you even onto this???

Okay, marriage is about love
At least nowadays it is. But historically marriage was not merely a celebration of blissful love; nor, as I caution here, should it be.

Call me odd, un-romantic, bitter?

Lockhorn Spouses - traditional marriage?

Shucks – please just call me old-fashioned. Not as in return-to-traditional-values-of-the-1950s-conservative; and I’m not talking about our tradition of Lockhorn spouses (though I can’t seem to get enough of their enduring mutual resentment - LOL!!).

I’d rather think I’m really old-fashioned; a thoughtful throwback; a Radical Traditionalist.

The long, celebrated history of marriage, blithely cited by so-called defenders of it, needs some brushing-up in the education of most people around you: for historically, marriage was dominated by a selection from this brief and not-so-tempting smorgasbord:
- arranged marriage,
- shotgun marriage, and
- polygamy.

Mmmm, delish! – although you might prefer the buffet
at Circus-Circus Casino in Reno… I know I do!

“What About Love? Don’t you want someone to care about you?”
Isn’t marriage all about love?
Well, sort of: around the turn of the last century, in certain parts of the world, and among certain social classes, arranged and shotgun marriages were supplanted by unions designed for creating a structure around Love.

Ah, Love! (Take a moment here to sigh.)
Bunny-love, warm, fuzzy, sexy, divine. Yours is/was like no other – the kind that no-one around you had quite the depth of emotion to comprehend - in profundity, beauty, originality.
(A note: Bunny love, when it doesn’t work out, is later-on often referred to using terms such as narco-love or, more gently and academically, limerance.)

There is nothing quite so powerful as love, and bunny love can therefore lead to problems, like teenage bunny girls with baby bunnies, while dad-bunny is out sponsoring other girls’ baby bunnies.

Grandparents don’t like to see such burdens on their daughters-as-parents. Having been through the tides and storms of graver decades than you have, they want their grandchildren to have every opportunity – opportunities such as that money they put aside instead of spending on themselves - and so they have motivation to put rules around union… marriage. (Grandma and Grandpa know what they did and didn’t work their asses off for.)

Ever notice how closely patrimony resembles the word matrimony?
Consider your son’s very natural urges (or if that’s too gross, think of your own, more justified ones when you were 19). Now think of your family’s savings floating like a spirit above his bunny-love bed, looking for a place to land. (If you’re a goat-herder, this can be an image of your flock – radical traditionalism works for you, too.) Got the image? Now think of that college money or goat herd alighting on his special-someone-du-jour. Is s/he going to spend it, maybe, in Vegas or Gomorrah?

There are also problems other than patrimony that come from bunny-love-matrimony. Let’s say, for instance, that you would like to see your grandchildren once in a while, before they re-discover you in the rebellion of young adulthood. (Less clan-commited offspring-in-law aren’t into your bad influence, especially during the infancy of their first-born, when they don’t see your babysitting as a value-add and are getting everything right without your input.)

So ask: what’s the future son/daughter-in-law’s commitment to the clan? Is there a more romantic bunny lover than one with a cute accent, who will spirit the family’s child far away, to a much more romantic place (e.g. anywhere else unless they were raised in NYC and Paris)?

Or much more serious, consider a son-in-law who doesn’t like his old lady to be seen in public where there exist other male bunnies – you know the scary controlling type. (Of course you do, and it strikes fear into your grown-up heart to consider the poor object of his freakish “love”).

Okay – one last set of images. When a lover or spouse enters the clan, there are potential implications to the safety and well-being of every niece and nephew…, impacts positive or negative on every important family event. (Ugh – let’s move quickly along.)

Love between Loving Lovers
The “long and sacred history of marriage” is not primarily a celebration of blissful love between loving lovers. And it’s not primarily a history of sanctity (I don’t have the interest, but you can go to Wikipedia and skim, or find a better source, some book). The long and actually not-so-sacred history of marriage is one of protection over marriage-ready offspring (this protection includes the money saved to nurture them) by loving parents.

In Short:
In short, what I’m saying here is that marriage should be undertaken only when you are ready to pledge, in addition to your deep love, your will and commitment to the state of your lover’s clan; and when your spouse-to-be seems the kind of guy/gal who will truly do the same. This choice to focus one’s marriage beyond the wedding couple is actually deeply traditional, but to do so now by choice rather than by expectation is radical. And so I say: to the extent that you value your clan and accept the support of your clan, marriage should not be simply about your own love. (I say “to the extent..” because some clans are such that it would be self-defeating to stay in touch with them. Sound like yours? Go ahead and marry that gal who would believe you love her if only you didn’t call your family – or that guy, if you must, the one wearing the spotted-fur toga, toting a club. )

Have a Radical Traditionalist marriage:
So next time you marry, or the time after that, give a brief nod to history. Consider an additional vow to your true-love’s family, promising to do what you can to be a positive addition to the clan; vow to take good care of their grown-up baby.

Sure, of course: go ahead and invite your wedding guests to “share in celebration of your Love” – but consider that among the guests will be those older, jaded, post-limerance realists, who love you dearly. And more than celebrating the unique beauty of your new love, they will be sitting on rented folding chairs, bearing with each loving tear and benevolent fear, a silent cheer of deepest sincerity, the wish that you and your new spouse (+grandchildren, God willing) will be safe and loved and well-cared for, well-provisioned to bear the tides and storms of graver decades.

Traditional marriage? Beware the Bunny - marry for love... and more.

Hanukah Wall of Freedom: Warsaw Uprising

How about this one: knowing how you live today, if you were placed back in the Hanukah times, would you have fought with the religious extremist zealots (history’s good guys), or would you have joined up with the more modernizing (yet still bloodthirsty), pan-cultural Helenites? (You’d probably have been killed either way.)

Some thoughts.

(Skip ahead to a new idea for meaningful Hanukah decorations)

Hanukah – A Brief History and a New Tradition

Where does Hanukah come from?
Sometime in November, in my search, I asked the younger P___ sister, Amanda, whether she’d read the Apocrypha. This collection of not-quite-Biblical books includes at least the first 2 books of the Maccabees. Amanda and Rebeccah P___ are the sisters who trade off nanny-ing our boys (and for whom my family is, to borrow Rebeccah’s phraseology, blessed). Amanda is in the divinity school (Jesuit) that Rebeccah graduated from. At any rate, Amanda had heard of Apocrypha, but not read it (them?).

I’ve wanted to read the texts of the Hanukah story, and found that nobody I knew had read these, or had even heard of the source. And how strange, considering that we all read the Megilah, or at least know what it is. Okay, and how strange, considering that we celebrate Hanukah, for instance.

One Christmas day in the Jewish Bookstore
On Christmas day, Karl was working in the ER, and I was out driving, taking Winston and Karl-the-younger around. We’d already gone to the Emeryville Marina, which juts out into the Bay, to try out the boys’ Heelys – sneakers with wheels, they’d gotten from Karl’s parents. Afterward, on a hunch, I took the boys to Afikomen, the Yiddishkeit store in Berkeley. Surprise – they were having a party, with

Hanukah Wall of Freedom - Tianenman Square

music, wine and cheese, and discounts! We saw a man who substitutes at the boys’ old pre-school – boys were happy to see an old, familiar face. It was a very friendly atmosphere, strangers smiling and greeting, and a funny kind of Jewish gathering, promoted not at all by a Jewish event but by sharing an oasis in the desert hush of the holiday of the outside masses. Crazy – smiling faces and strangers greeting one another: “Say hello to friends you know, and everyone you meet!”, the quintessential Christmas, but really because we were the only ones not celebrating it!

I found, and bought, the Apocrypha, while the boys happily watched a bearded, tallis-fringed band rock out on pleasant, very well-executed, and markedly un-special music. Sadly we’d missed the band playing authentic middle-eastern instruments and music.

The Apocrypha
I’ve only read to the part where Judah M. died, somewhere in the middle of the first book of the Maccabees. I found the account unexpectedly exciting - and filled with brutality. Its reading distracted me from my question as to whether, had I been there at the time, I would have sided with the zealot Maccabees (religious fundamentalist extremists?) or with the Hellenite assimilators (modern relativists with a bloodthirsty twinge?). My question is, of course, embedded in the current-events context of Islamic and Christian fundamentalism. Okay, Jewish too – as Israeli rabbis, priests, and imams put down their enmity for a day last year, to howl in sweet harmony at the Jerusalem Gay Pride event – you know, the usual abomination-horror at witnessing honest and decent people like me.

Oh, what a miserable time in Judea it was, to try simply to live, I imagine, with all these imperial power vectors slamming, crisscross, over the Mideast and Asia Minor to India. Picture yourself deciding whether to circumcise your newborn son, when doing so would bring you death from Antiochus’s troops, and not doing so would earn you death from the Maccabees? I hope the numbers of fallen are exaggerated, and imagine they are, but who knows? At any rate, the writer, narrator, whoever it is, is not at all neutral, but the story doesn’t sound manufactured either. I strongly recommend reading this account from the source.

Hanukah Wall of Freedom - Gloria Steinem

The miracle of the oil
By the way, there is no mention or hint of the miracle of the oil.
My guess: the miracle of finding a kosher flask when only un-kashered oil is available is the kind of story that would be valued by a later Talmudic sensibility, among people who had been honing the finer subtleties of kashrut for a long, long time (Mattathias slew Jews who ate pork, not those who ate meat off of dairy dishes). And the amount of work the Maccabean armies and affiliates did during the Temple re-dedication was not small; it was so much more extensive than mopping up after running pigs. They’d have had plenty of time to re-kasher oil enough for well more than eight days. As I heard it, more or less, “They looked around and could only find a bisl flask of sanctified oil, enough to last for one day, whereas it took eight days to make kosher oil”… Goodness gracious, these guys were disassembling the heavy, stone offerings altar, moving the unclean stones off-site and re-building it with new stones. They made new holy dishes – silver I think; re-fitted the priests’ quarters and made new gates and doors. There were loaves of fresh bread. They put up gold and silver decorations and curtains. If kosher oil were so important, they could have, would have, made it happen without a miracle – come on!

So why 8 days of Hanukah? That’s how long the Maccabees celebrated the rededication, and apparently what they decreed that we should celebrate each year. But why 8? Who knows. The story doesn’t say. There are sources, I’m sure, but I haven’t yet found them. (Help me out here, I’m no big scholar.)

You can still have your Latkes
If, like me, you tend toward literalism, and get angry at being judged against human-made extensions to the Commandments (cook a chicken in its mother’s milk and you’ve committed an affront to God), it might irk you that we center our main celebration of Hanukah around a made-up story of a paltry miracle. I tend toward believing that enhancing the basic pieces of truth gives us a pressure valve that allows us to avoid examining and learning from truth’s subtleties – subtleties, for instance, like the knowledge that the Maccabees were tough SOBs, and were ruthless because they cared, and because their people were being slaughtered for caring. Of course, you might believe that the stories we create are important as sign-posts to guide us through our personal and cultural psyches. Maybe, for instance, the Talmudic scholars lived in circumstances where they didn’t have the resources, cultural upbringing, training or temperament to be Maccabees, and so their version de-emphasized self-help in favor of miracles received; is

Hanukah Wall of Freedom - Cesar Chavez

the miracle story merely a pressure valve that allows ourselves not to feel bad about being less than victors, lesser than Maccabees? Do we go on to judge that they gave themselves, and then to us, this way to forgive or overlook one’s own powerlessness or lack of resolve, or do we give these guys a break in their own tough times? Either way, if you do enjoy and value Talmudic tradition, that shouldn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the celebration of the miracle – should it? (Okay, and without the miracle, would we have to replace our tasty latkes and donuts with an overcooked rump roast to honor those tough-ass Maccabees? Hey – my latkes were really excellent this year!)

But one thing is clear throughout the story: the Temple stood as the singular symbol and attribution of holiness, as well as a cultural center of identity. Even against the “backdrop” of fighting immense and targeted brutality, and against the attention-robbing, bloody attempts at cultural extermination pursued by Antiochus’s army, the Maccabees took the Temple’s holiness extremely seriously – enough to rededicate it in the midst of the long war. Sadly, after its laborious re-sanctification and rededication, the story and conflict do not end. Even during the cleansing, there were fortifications and guards watching against the ever-present enemy forces.

In Hebrew School, I’d more or less learned that the Maccabean armies finished creaming the enemy, and when they were done, they looked and saw that the Temple was desecrated. So they rededicated it and lived on in victory (-and peace? Not sure). But this is so very distorted. It’s a victory, yes, though the Maccabee brothers and many of their fighters do die in violence. Okay, not so long afterward, the Jews do make a peace and mutual protection treaty with Rome.

Building a new tradition
Hanukah is a holiday that seems to me much more meaningful and tender, maybe even shocking and Jewish-instructive, to see that they valued the holy traditions enough to re-erect the Jewish center of holiness while fighting armies all around them (and fighting against really poor odds).

Hanukah Wall of Freedom - Full View

Somehow this is so much more impressive to me than is the story of the oil. I think self-identifying Jews, those who bother “living Jewish” when it’s easier not to (including those in mixed-marriages but teaching Jewish heritage to their children), should be reading a portion of this story on Hanukah as we read the Megilah on Purim: in Shul, in the evening, with the balagan of kids running around, stopping to make the important points, and with 4th graders acting these out on the Bimah. Or at least we should be telling why Hanukah actually came about. Esther and Judah were very different, but both are crucially instructive to a diaspora people who try to survive as a dispersed culture (and in the face of general enmity). And both might lead us to contemplate the complexity of pros and cons of assimilative “dis-integration”. Esther’s is a story of a pretty girl who finds within herself so much more: the guts, brains, and grace to bring about her people’s saving (instead of riding her beauty and fortune to her own lone refuge). Judah’s is a story of a bunch Jews who care that much, and who put it all on the line and stand up and die for what they believe in. We don’t have another such holiday, do we? This is why Warsaw Uprising fighters and that Chinese guy standing up to the Tiananmen Square tanks, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, and others, appear on my Hanukah wall of freedom (Stephen Colbert is there, and for good reason).
(–But why was it so hard, even on the Web, to find more Jews to put up on that wall? And I’m not talking about actors or baseball players, famous people we typically claim for happening to have one or two identifiably Jewish parents – Goldie Hawn, et al.. That exercise had its purpose, but this is different.)

Hanukah Wall of Freedom - Stephen Colbert

Make your own Hanukah Wall of Freedom
Here’s an idea for next year, especially if hanging another crepe-paper dreidel leaves you un-moved, or if you’re watching your lipids: why not make your own Hanukah wall of freedom?

Invite each family member or roommate or women’s group member to “own” the picture of someone who stood up for what they think is right, and against steep odds. Owning could mean being responsible for telling their story on a night of Hanukah, whether a short or lengthy version. The Entebbe rescue? ACT-UP? Gloria Steinem? A kid in your school? Ideally each will be someone real, to encourage the need to look at real-life complexities. This year we printed and cut out these pictures, mounting each on colored paper shaped like the star of David. What we did, then, was to use Christmas ornament hanging wires to hang these along a sparkly blue Mylar garland on the wall. And we talked about the people, my young kids memorizing their stories and “filing” these among ones they learn in school, like that of Martin Luther King Jr.

What else?
I’d love to read 3 other Maccabee accounts from people involved at the time, but with differing perspectives. And I’m beginning to get a picture of the cultures in the land not long before Jesus was born, and soon after, when people had to sort themselves out – allegiance, religion, identity, peoplehood. Even during the Maccabees’ time, it seems there were three different “Jewish” peoples who were only loosely aligned – maybe mostly around their shared worship of the Tanakh – I’m not sure. It seems, too, that the various sects holed up in Safed and in caves near the Dead Sea, and yelling sermons in the streets of the cities, were in a most dynamic flux. If I get around to reading these, I might be fascinated. Maybe I’ll check out Shabbatai Tsvi? I’ve already seen Life of Brian. I think Rebecca and Amanda could help me out with this.

Anyway, I’ll transcribe a few paragraphs below, outlining the Hanukah celebration’s text.
From The First Book of Maccabees:

And the whole army gathered together, and they went up to Mount Zion. And they found the sanctuary desolated and the altar polluted and the doors burned up, and the weeds growing in the courts as they do in a wood or on some mountain, and the priests’ quarters torn down. And they tore open their clothes and uttered great lamentation and covered themselves with ashes, and fell on their faces on the ground, and sounded the ceremonial trumpets, and cried out to heaven. Then Judas appointed men to fight the garrison in the citadel, until he should purify the sanctuary. And he appointed priests that were without blemish and adherents of the Law, and the purified the sanctuary and carried out the stones that had defiled it to an unclean place. And they deliberated as to what they should do about the altar of burnt offering, which had been polluted. And a good idea occurred to them – to take it down, so that it might never be thrown up to them that the heathen had polluted it; so they took down the altar and deposited the stones in the temple mountain, in a suitable place, until a prophet should come and declare what should be done with them. And they took whole stones, as the Law required, and built the sanctuary and the interior of the temple and consecrated the courts. And they made new holy dishes and they brought the lampstand and the altar of incense and the table into the temple. And they burned incense on the altar, and lighted the lamps on the lampstand, and they lighted the temple. And they put the loaves of bread on the table and hung up the curtains, and completed all the work they had undertaken.

And they arose early on the twenty-fifth day of the ninth month, that is, the month of Chislev, in the one hundred and forty-eighth year, and offered sacrifice according to the Law upon the new altar of burnt offering which they had made. At the time and on the day the heathen had polluted it, it was rededicated with songs and harps and lutes and cymbals. And all the people fell on their faces and blessed heaven which had prospered them. And they celebrated the rededication of the altar for eight days and offered burnt offerings with joy, and offered a sacrifice of deliverance and praise. And they decorated the front of the temple with gold crowns and small shields and rededicated the gates and the priests’ quarters, and fitted them with doors. And there was very great joy among the people, and the reproach the heathen had cast upon them was wiped out. And Judas and his brothers and all the congregation of Israel decreed that the days of the rededication of the altar should be observed at their season, every year, for eight days, beginning with the twenty-fifth of the month of Chislev, with gladness and joy. At that time they built high walls and strong towers around Mount Zion, so that the heathen might not come and tread them down as they had done before. And he established a force there to hold it, and he fortified Bethsura to hold it, so that the people might have a stronghold facing Idumea.

Make a promise - vow to vote No on 8.

our very basic rights.

Nowhere near enough.

Yesterday a straight friend/acquaintance, a mom of a child who went to the same daycare as mine did, was inspired by the No-on-8 bumper-stickers I was making and giving out, and she made her own, MUCH MORE provocative than mine, put it on her car, and advertised it to all her friends.
(Marriage is for Fags! No on 8)

OMG, like it or not, hate it or not, if many more had her passion, I’d see a bumper sticker or 2 in my favor on the 50-min traffic-packed ride to work, for goodness’ sake!

On my way down route 880, from Berkeley to San Jose, I did see YesOn8 bumper stickers. Saw another on the way from Sac back to Berkeley. The only NoOn8’s I saw were in my own rearview mirror, on my own freakin rear window. (I did see a lawn sign by a farmhouse on a dirt road!)

I know it’s not only about bumper stickers. I don’t really like bumper stickers. I don’t want my car to look like a middle-schooler’s notebook cover. But all those $ we keep sending to our protectors don’t seem to produce anything that I end up seeing in my daily routines. So dressing up my bumper is one thing I can do, one thing you can do. For instance.

It deeply upsets me that Yeson8ers are breaking their own religious commandment not to bear false witness, telling these lies (I don’t say that lightly) about churches being forced to perform same-sex weddings. Catholic priests and Jewish rabbis et al. have never been required to perform marriages that don’t conform to their beliefs. How about Mormon clergy – are they required to perform weddings for LDS members who want to wed a non-LDS sweetheart? Yet we’ve got these energetic folks expressing public dismay coming by my house and calling us, out of the twisted goodness of their wicked hearts.

Of course it upsets me even more that my children, who my husband and I are helping to recover from the traumas they were dealt by a series of (heterosexual) parents and foster parents, are thought by YesOn8ers to be subject to abuse merely by being our children. My kids’ principal, their teachers, and so many others tell us of the growth and healing they see in these kids.

I would say about these freaks that it’s their own problem – that my children and so many of their peers are learning truths that protect them from these vicious lies – but there’s this huge effort to write us out of the constitution and thereby actually make my children less wealthy and psychologically less safe – yes, that’s what will happen if this passes.

It upsets me that my civil rights, my status as a full citizen, are allowed to be put to popular vote. How will you feel about putting your civil rights out there for a popular vote? You know it’s going to happen – Prop 8 is priming that ol’ pump. We already did it to our Japanese-American neighbors right here in Berkeley. Are you an Arab who sometimes has to board a plane, In-Sha’-Allah? Did your Jewish grandparents hide in the forest while their good neighbors ravaged their homes, within the law? Remember in the 60s when a person with one black parent couldn’t legally marry someone of the other parent’s race? Remember in the 50s when a woman couldn’t get a bank loan without a husband?

Living through the last 8 Bush years, and now this presidential election, is rough enough , but you are now going to vote on whether I deserve to be a nearly full citizen. I didn’t decide to run for the office of “Valid American Citizen”. Actual Americans are supposed to believe that “all men (sic) are created equal”, though somehow I don’t get to vote back at the rest of you. At least not this time.

Finally: it deeply upsets me that we are, so many of us, the good ones, sitting here feeling weird about this onslaught without doing much.

So… what are you doing?

I copied the “Do unto others” on a window decal on my inkjet printer and put it on my car. I am so sick of the happy go lucky Yes on 8 bumperstickers that I have seen and want revenge!
Window decals can be had at any paper section of Best Buy or probably Tatget. They stick to windows or bumpers.  
-Susan